The airing of a pilot is your big chance to hook in an audience for your series. In the week or so before broadcast, the show has had it’s launch publicity and tonight’s the night people are going to check it out. And by the time the titles or the first commercial break rolls around, the viewers are going to decide whether to stick around for the rest of the episode or change channels. And if they change channels now, the chances of getting them back ever are pretty slim. A lot rides on those opening minutes. So how do you make ’em count?

One of my favourite series of 2007 thus far is the British series Skins. The opening scenes of the pilot, entitled “Tony” and written by Bryan Elsley, are absolutely fabulous.

The show opens with a 30 second title sequence that is all shots of characters and ends with the series title “Skins”.

The first shot of the first episode is close on eyes which pop open, awake, as the camera slowly pulls out to reveal a teenage boy in bed as church bells ring in the distance. His alarm goes off and he flicks on some music as he springs into action, doing his dips, chin ups and bicep curls in only his tight white underpants, his face expressionless. His first smile appears as he surveys his image in the mirror.

That sequence takes 37 seconds and it’s all about character.

A teenage girl looking bedraggled in her smudged makeup and short skirt walks up the street.

In his bedroom, our teenage boy’s watch alarm sounds. He stations himself at the bedroom window and looks out. In the window across the street, a woman allows her white robe to drop to the floor, revealing her naked back. She glances out the window; she knows our boy is watching.

On the street, the girl glances up at the woman’s window and then at his. She stops, arms crossed, staring up at his window. Is she a pissed off girlfriend?

No, actually. She waves, trying to distract him as the naked woman turns in his direction providing a good front view. Below the young girl finally attracts his attention.

The boy turns to his stereo, cranking the volume higher, higher, higher still, smiling with satisfaction in the direction of his bedroom door, behind which we can barely make out a male voice: “Tony! Tony!”

Tony, the teenage boy, signals to the girl below and she lunges for the front door. An irate looking 40-something male wearing nothing but red boxers storms into Tony’s room, yelling to be heard over the music.

“Sorry,” says Tony, pretending to fiddle with the remote, “the volume’s busted.”

“Every fucking morning!” spurts his furious father. Meanwhile the young hottie is sneaking up the stairs, into her bedroom, peeling off her clubbing clothes and slipping into her demure English school girl uniform.

We’re not done yet.

Tony is now sitting on the toilet reading Sartre’s Nausea as his father knocks on the bathroom door begging to be let in. Tony smiles mildly as he flushes, brushes and goes out the window, leaving the bathroom door locked and his father pounding and cursing on the other side.

Tony’s Father
You fucking bollocking twat fuck. How come I’m
never allowed to use my own sodding bathroom?

Tony climbs down to street level, pauses to smile at the now-dressed woman from across the street and lets himself into the house.

In the kitchen, Mom is making eggs. His sister, now every inch the innocent school girl, nibbles toast. Dad, still ranting about getting into the bathroom, steps into the kitchen and stops dead when he sees Tony.

The lock is broken again, Tony claims mildly, as his father stares at him with mounting hatred.

By this time, you couldn’t pay me to turn off this show. And the interesting thing about this opening is that none of it has anything to do with what follows. Tony’s parents and sister don’t have any significance in the series until a much later episode. This one has more to do with Tony’s scheme to get Sid — who we haven’t even met yet — laid.

Tony
Who’s stupid enough to fuck Sid?Michelle
Cassie.

Sid
She’s still in hospital.

Michelle
No, she’s not. They let her out. She’s just not allowed to handle knives.

Instead of establishing story, the writer has opted to devote the first three and three quarter minutes of the pilot to setting up character. And he has done so beautifully.

Sid
What would you do if everything’s so fucked up and you just don’t know what to do?Cassie
I stop eating till they take me to hospital.

(Btw, I couldn’t find a picture of Bryan Elsley. If anyone can link me up to one, I’d love to add it in.)